21 December 2007


Had my last day of work at the VRC (aka slide library) today. Had my last day of printing the lithographic photoplate experiment today. Got some information today that made me cancel a date. I don't know if the information was good or not, but I thought it best to err on the side of caution and only have dates in public places for a while. Feelings ended up hurt on both sides. Oh well, I thought. I will drink tea and eat xmas chocolate and watch anime and things won't seem so bad. Maybe I will stop feeling guilty (I am very good at feeling guilty). Apologies didn't help. Apologies didn't seem to do anything except make me feel like I was apologising too much. And Naruto seems to have vanished off YTV's schedule, so I have to wait for anime. So tired. Shower now, then Bleach and Deathnote, and maybe it will help, but probably I'll go on feeling guilty for a while. Probably quite a while. I love words, but sometimes they don't communicate. Crap.


Anonymous said...

Don't feel guilty! Why would you? These men on POF are complete strangers. Who knows what their agendas are? If an alarm went off in your head you must listen to it and do what's right--where's the guilt in that? No need to crucify ourselves for abstract sins!


Niko said...

I know. I'm just so very *good* at guilt. Anyway, I feel much much better after today.

Dad said...

You have nothing to aplogize for!!
Listen to dear old Dad and remember Mr Goodbar. If it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.

Niko said...

Yeah. So far everyone has said pretty much the same thing. And actually I am feeling much more positive now.